"The Golden Bachelorette" ratchets up the drama machine in Episode 4 as Joan Vassos goes from mourning her late husband, John, to power feelings about stepping back into the dating world (much less on TV) and also building attachments to the remaining 11 senior courtiers.
That's even before the rising star and insurance executive from Wichita, Chock, 60, has to leave the house due to his own Joan-esque personal emergency.
With all the drama boxes checked for this reality show week, we can focus on the important stuff, like the inaugural "Golden Bachelorette" male strip tease ― which happens after the similarly aged and entirely ripped OG Chippendale dancers throw down the gauntlet.
This episode was a grind. Here's what happened.
Spoiler alert: If you don't want to know the result of Joan's love journey this week, stop reading and watch the episode on Hulu.
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'Golden Bachelorette' week threeKickball winners, losers and that Gerry Turner appearance
We love the "Bare It All" strip tease. Somehow, the Stand Up to Cancer charity gets pulled in, and it's not entirely clear what the connection ― unless someone picked up the dollar bills that fit Frenchman Pascal, 69, shoots off from his golden gun money shooter. But there were clear winners and losers.
Winner: Jonathan The shipping consultant, 61, from Oakland, Iowa, gives a way-too-smooth delivery for a first-time dancer. Calling himself Sergeant Sexy there are pre-dance shots of Jonathan sock-stuffing his shimmering underwear alongside "Hot Dad" Mark. That's fair. He moves so well in his "golden panties" (Joan's words!) that, literally, Chippendales will recruit the reality star.
Losers: Everyone Not Jonathan Guys, you don't let Jonathan dance first. He sets a high bar even before the sock bonus. Keep Sgt. Sexy's military velcro pants intact until late in the show.
Winner: Keith Who knew the sales director, 62, from San Jose, California, always wanted to be a Chippendales dancer? How did he handle that on school Career Day? As the classic construction worker, big Keith wears a lot of clothes, a big smile and works it. He even pulls off a legit cobra-type move over Joan.
Winner: Gary The retired finance executive, 65, from Palm Desert, California has a ton of fun as a Nutty Professor. But he outdoes himself by ripping off his shirt and baring his belly for the climax. Bravo.
Loser: Chock Hell no, Chock doesn't like dancing, much less stripping while dancing. He tries in a classic tuxedo outfit with some moves. But not his thing. And if we never hear Chock say, "Ladies like the tush" again, it will be too soon.
The sad passing of Chock's mother turns the page quickly here. Chock is gutted. And it's deja vu all over again for viewers, as Joan left tearfully in last year's "Golden Bachelor" for personal reasons. Chock's tearful departure is remarkably similar, just as he's rising in Joan's estimation. Does Chock really want to go? Moot point. He has to. Joan would not look kindly at the guy who wouldn't leave a reality show for his mother's funeral. And sure enough, he shows up again at the episode's end in a natty dark suit (not the stripping kind). He's like a modern Rhett Butler (as played by Peyton Manning) and reclaims his top dog perch in this battle for Joan's heart.
You have to feel for very Chicago sales manager Jordan, 61, who has the first date with Joan after Chock's emotional departure. She's so not into it. Then REO Speedwagon's Kevin Cronin and Dave Amato appear magically in a fake winter wonderland scene singing their classic "Can't Fight This Feeling." Jordan knows every word. He salvages a rose.
First, we're lodging an official complaint about Keith's treatment. Why did Joan have the 6-foot-5 human mountain sit on the ground for a final date? He's very uncomfortable and sweats like he's trying hot yoga. Still, he takes the final rose in the ceremony and is still alive.
Gary's departure is proof that men with power personalities are in constant peril on "Golden Bachelorette" (Rest in reality power Chicago Jack!). His dance alone was rose-worthy. But he's denied. Classy exit.
Charles L., 66, the financial analyst from Philadelphia has been a treat to watch and brings real emotional resonance while mourning his late wife. But the rose game is a cruel one and he's out.
Dan, 64, an investor from Naples, Florida, has had a good run. But he doesn't get a rose.
And finally, the "further edited" candidate Gil Ramirez, 60, entangled in a legal drama off the show after filming, left "The Golden Bachelorette" formally after not receiving a rose.
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