Dysfunction has always been the name of the wicked little game when it comes to the Roy family. And the toxicity that started at the top with dear old dad Logan has obviously spread throughout the family tree and oozed into the office.

The stars of HBO's Succession, which ends tonight after four jagged-edged seasons, have been pitch-perfect as parents, children, siblings, spouses and colleagues who never met a scathing, perfectly crafted burn they wouldn't gladly torch each other with. And just when the humanity started to crack through, an opportunity to take a stab at someone's back usually proved the more tempting option.

But in the end, the sheer enjoyment we've received from these people's misdeeds are all a testament to the writing and acting.

Because while there is no character in this drama who didn't deserve to be swiped left upon immediately (you too, Cousin Greg), their personal lives off-screen appear far less cutthroat.

At least, if anyone ever broached the topic of an open marriage on their wedding night or coerced an aspiring-playwright escort to marry them or accidentally sent a d--k pic to their dad during a meeting, they've kept it under wraps. (Though that would be quite a coincidence, wouldn't it?)

Before the deal gets killed (or doesn't, yeah?), scroll on to see what sort of mergers have been taking place for the series' delectable stars in real life:

Logan Roy, media mogul and father of four adult kids who are each unhappy in their own way, is on his third marriage, with the occasional other woman popping in and out of his bedroom.

Cox, 76, is also a father of four: Son Alan, 52, and daughter Margaret, 45, with Caroline Burt, who he was married to from 1968 to 1986, and sons Orson, 21, and Torin, 18, with his second wife, Nicole Ansari-Cox.

"I was just in my twenties when I got married to Caroline," the Scottish actor wrote in his 2021 memoir Putting the Rabbit in the Hat. "Far too young. But I wanted the stability of marriage and kids. I wasn't one of those middle-class actor-types, taking drugs and letting it all hang out."

He called Ansari-Cox, an actress and theater director, his "soulmate." She also, incidentally, made a winning cameo at Logan Roy's funeral as Sally-Ann, his mistress from his second marriage to Caroline (Harriet Walters), who jollily introduces the newcomer to Logan's third wife Marcia (Hiam Abbass) and his most recent girlfriend Kerry (Zoe Winters) as her Kerry.

As the poor little rich boy no one seems to expect anything of, Logan's eldest son Connor, from his first marriage, wavers between being the least nasty and most delusional of the siblings. The aspiring presidential candidate finally got to marry former escort Willa, who sorta likes him but mainly appears to be tolerating him—but accepting his largesse and promising not to leave today is kinda like love, right?

In real life, Ruck and first wife Claudia Stefany share daughter Emma, 35, and son Sam, 28. The 66-year-old is also dad to daughter Vesper, 12, and son Larkin, 8, with The Killing star Mireille Enos, his wife since 2008. 

Enos and a newly divorced Ruck met while doing a play together in New York. The first time she saw her future husband, Enos told People, "Alan walked in the door and my brain said, 'Oh, there he is.' It was a moment of recognition of some other person who was going to change my life."

It's easy to forget Kendall Roy is a separated father of two young kids because he'd been so wholly consumed with taking his dad down.

In real life, Emmy winner Strong is still a bit of a jet-setter, but navigating friendlier skies: The 44-year-old and his wife since 2016, Emma Wall, split their time between homes in New York and her native Denmark. They're also parents of three daughters, ages 4, 3 and 18 months.

"He does a really good job of maintaining what he's doing," Wall told the New Yorker about her famously intense-on-the-job husband in 2021, "but also creating a space for the family and a normal life."

Siobhan "Shiv" Roy isn't entirely sure why she got married, either, other than it seemed like a respectable move and she felt some sort of love-like emotion for Tom Wambsgans. And now those chickens are coming home to roost, with Tom ending season three on Team Logan and shanking his wife with the proverbial shiv, just as the Roy siblings seemed poised to get the better of their father.

Snook's domestic situation feels more hopeful. "I'm in bliss," the Australian actress told Australian Vogue in 2021 after quietly marrying comedian Dave Lawson, her longtime "best mate" whom she fell in love with during pandemic lockdown.

"It's been a ride," she acknowledged. "There's so much heartache and sadness in the world, but on a micro personal level, I've been very fortunate."

The 35-year-old confirmed in March that she's pregnant with their first child, and she's way more delighted about it than also-expecting Shiv. Snook and Lawson welcomed the child in May.

Poor Tom Wambsgans, who thought he was hitting the jackpot, marrying the woman of his dreams, Shiv Roy, and securing himself an executive post in the family business, Waystar RoyCo. Alas, his wife broached the topic of non-monogamy hours after they said "I do" and the possibility that he'll end up drinking prison toilet wine continues to linger in the background.

But really the 48-year-old English actor—who won a Best Supporting Actor Emmy for his efforts in 2022—is doing quite well, married to actress Keeley Hawes since 2004, stepdad to her son Miles, 22, and father to their daughter Maggie, 18, and son Ralph, 16.

"It was a bit bumpy at the time," Macfadyen told the New York Times in 2023 about the beginning of his and Hawes' relationship (a headline-making extramarital affair on her end), "but it's fine now."

To say Roman Roy has intimacy issues would be a bit of an understatement.

But Culkin, 40, will celebrate 10 years of marriage with wife Jazz Charton on June 8, 2023, and they're parents of a 3-year-old daughter and a 19-month-old son together.

That being said, he does have a bit of a mouth on him, not unlike his quick-witted character.

When Culkin met his future wife at a bar in New York, he recalled to The Hollywood Reporter, "I said, 'I'm Kieran. You have an English accent. What's your name?' She said, 'Jazz.' I said, 'J-A-Z-Z, like the music?' And she said, 'Yeah.' And I said, 'Well, that's f--king stupid.'" (We're guessing he said that with a certain Romanesque charm because, reader, she laughed.)

Let's just say, Gerri Kellman isn't exactly helping Roman with his intimacy issues, but the release he gets from being chastised by a successful older woman certainly fits the profile.

Succession is actually a reunion of sorts for Smith-Cameron, 65, and Culkin, who both appeared in her husband Kenneth Lonergan's 2011 film Margaret. She's been married to the filmmaker since 2000 and they're parents to daughter Nellie, 21.

Cousin Greg started off just wanting to get his foot in the door at his great-uncle Logan's company, but pretty soon he's shredding documents and serving as Tom's verbal punching bag/only friend, and that leaves very little time for awkwardly hitting on models.

Braun, now 34, told the New York Times in October 2021 that he was hoping to be in his first long-term relationship one day—and then probably had to move and change his number after every single woman in the tri-state area came looking for him.

"I do believe it'll happen at the right time with the right person," said the actor, who was also writing what he described as a "relationship traumedy" when not busy filming. "Until then, it's fun to meet people and see what works."

The British writer-producer's crafty mind may have created Succession, but at home he's just a fellow who's lived, as the New Yorker reported in 2021, "in the same unflashy part of South London for almost three decades" with his wife and their two kids.

Armstrong, 52, met his missus when they were both students at University of Manchester and she works for the National Health Service.

"We might do a new kitchen," the five-time Emmy winner told the magazine. "So that will be corrupting."

The final episode of Succession premieres Sunday, May 28, on HBO and Max.

(Originally published March 26, 2023, at 5 a.m. PT)