Maybe you've spotted it in a coffee shop. Or across a classroom. A wall of blue text: Someone typing out a near novel-length text message that left you wondering and worried about the person on the other end of it.
Is that conversation the beginning of a breakup? Are roommates confronting each other about whose turn it is to take out the trash, only to have it spill out into a litany of other quibbles? Is a child unleashing unfounded frustrations out on a parent?
Such texts aren't all that uncommon, especially as younger generations grow up with the ability to communicate any way they want literally at their fingertips. But is texting a great way to actually have meaningful conversations?
Mostly no, but sometimes yes when you consider the boundaries of that specific relationship.
"I wouldn't say it's 100% of the time you should have that conversation in-person," says Miranda Nadeau, a licensed psychologist. "But I think there are important considerations, if you are going to use text message that go beyond feeling nervous or avoidant."
It's intimidating to have potentially life-altering conversations in person. But it may also be the best way to respect the relationship.
"It's scary to have a difficult conversation in person, even though it might be better for the relationship, to have that in person," Nadeau says. "Generationally, and just over time as the world is changing and we're increasingly using social media and text messaging, that's likely going to happen for everyone."
Text messaging might be appropriate, though, if there were issues of safety or if you wouldn't get anywhere if you tried to have the conversation in person.
Whatever the situation, however, relationships require communication.
"A quick way for relationships to be tainted by misunderstandings, unmet needs and lack of alignment is to avoid speaking about our thoughts, feelings, goals, needs and boundaries," writes Sara Kuburic, USA TODAY Millennial Therapist columnist. "Communication also breaks down when we don't listen genuinely and understand what the other person has to say."
Important:Why do all your relationships keep falling apart?
So before you send that wall of blue text, consider how tearing down your own walls might lead to fruitful in-person conversation. But – either way – communication in any form is better than none.
Been there:It's time to break up with your significant other, but why can't you?
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